


Starving Artist Christmas

by ChancellorGriffin



Series: Five Red Dresses: A Collection of Kabby Christmas Eve AU's [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, Christmas Fluff, Christmas With Family, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-18
Updated: 2015-12-18
Packaged: 2018-05-07 11:46:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5455412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChancellorGriffin/pseuds/ChancellorGriffin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke, Octavia and Bellamy are home from college for their first blended-family Christmas since Abby and Kane got married, and the clash over family traditions gets a little . . . explosive. Sequel to the Kabby AU "I'm Gonna Watch You Shine." Takes place two years later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starving Artist Christmas

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [I'm Gonna Watch You Shine](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4628658) by [ChancellorGriffin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChancellorGriffin/pseuds/ChancellorGriffin). 



 

 

**ABBY**

**[3:12 P.M.]**

hello family

i'm on my way home

i stopped off at the dry cleaners but nothing's ready

Marcus, I need you to go back in the morning to pick up my red dress and Bell's suit

I’m stopping at the store on my way home

what do we need that’s not on the list?

 

**ABBY**

**[3:22 P.M.]**

anyone

anyone

is this thing on

 

**ABBY**

**[3:25 P.M.]**

why do we pay your phone bills if you never answer your phones

marcus

sometimes i think our children screen our calls

 

**CLARKE**

**[3:25 P.M.]**

COFFEEEEEEE

 

**ABBY**

**[3:26 P.M.]**

that’s on the list

 

**CLARKE**

**[3:26 P.M.]**

okay that's it i love you bye

p.s. i never screen your calls

p.p.s. don't ask octavia to confirm that

she lies

she's a pathological liar

it's a sickness

she needs help probably

 

**OCTAVIA**

**[3:28 P.M.]**

clarke definitely did not send your call to voicemail last week

because she was listening to adele in bed and crying

and did not want to answer the phone

because she thought you would make fun of her

for sure that did not happen

 

**ABBY**

**[3:29 P.M.]**

what you two do in your own dorm room on your own time is none of my business

 

**BELLAMY**

**[3:30 P.M.]**

if you two are done being idiots

i have an ACTUAL thing

i’m short two strings of christmas lights

i pulled the box down from the attic to start on the tree and a bunch of them are dead

 

**ABBY**

**[3:32 P.M.]**

i'll pick some up

what color?

 

**BELLAMY**

**[3:33 P.M.]**

just the standard multicolor ones

 

**CLARKE**

**[3:34 P.M.]**

no no

white lights on the tree

bell

bell

we talked about this

we ALWAYS have white lights

 

**BELLAMY**

**[3:35 P.M.]**

well we always have colored

 

**MARCUS  
**

**[3:38 P.M.]**

that's racist

 

**CLARKE**

**[3:39 P.M.]**

oh hey guys did someone order a dad joke

 

**MARCUS  
**

**[3:40 P.M.]**

you don't have to ORDER them

they just arrive

on your doorstep

like christmas miracles

 

**ABBY**

**[3:42 P.M.]**

someone please just tell me what lights to buy

 

**OCTAVIA**

**[3:43 P.M.]**

i literally do not care

as long as the tree has lights it's fine

 

**ABBY**

**[3:44 P.M.]**

okay, what else besides lights

 

**CLARKE**

**[3:45 P.M.]**

WHITE lights

i already compromised with this jerk about their whole crazy "don't put up the tree until christmas eve" nonsense

AND on the music

he wouldn't let me listen to the nutcracker

 

**BELLAMY**

**[3:46 P.M.]**

the twisted sister christmas album is the only holiday music we allow in this home

 

**CLARKE**

**[3:47 P.M.]**

i'm so sorry that you're dead inside

that's a really good picture of you by the way

the likeness is uncanny

 

**BELLAMY**

**[3:48 P.M.]**

oooh

sick grinch burn

ANYWAY

two strings of small multicolored lights

 

**CLARKE**

**[3:49 P.M.]**

WHITE lights

 

**BELLAMY**

**[3:50 P.M.]**

okay that's it

you

me

connect four

RIGHT NOW

winner picks the lights

 

**CLARKE**

**[3:51 P.M.]**

YOU'RE ON, MOTHERFUCKER

 

**ABBY  
**

**[3:51 P.M.]**

you have five minutes

the store is going to be a zoo, i'm getting out as fast as i can

if you guys can't decide by the time i'm done shopping

i'm just picking the lights myself

and they'll be solid green

and you'll BOTH hate them

 

**OCTAVIA**

**[3:53 P.M.]**

i like it when you go all wicked stepmother on bellamy

do it more

he needs it

 

**ABBY**

**[3:54 P.M.]**

okay so i have the shopping list for dinner tonight and brunch tomorrow

and i'm getting lights

of some kind

and that's it?

nothing else to add to the list?

 

**MARCUS  
**

**[3:56 P.M.]**

eggnog, scotch tape, AA batteries, a box of candy canes, fireworks, and i'm out of shaving cream

 

**ABBY  
**

**[3:58 P.M.]**

please tell me that was an autocorrect error

please tell me you meant "firewood"

 

**ABBY  
**

**[4:04 P.M.]**

marcus

 

**ABBY  
**

**[4:10 P.M.]**

MARCUS

 

**ABBY  
**

**[4:12 P.M.]**

marcus i'm not buying fireworks

 

**MARCUS  
**

**[4:15 P.M.]**

we're good!

i found them!

they were in the attic

 

**ABBY  
**

**[4:15 P.M.]**

wait what

 

**OCTAVIA  
**

****[4:16 P.M.]**  
**

we always have fireworks on christmas eve

he buys extra at fourth of july and then saves them

 

**ABBY  
**

****[4:17 P.M.]**  
**

oh my god

marcus please tell me she's kidding

PLEASE TELL ME EVERYONE IS KIDDING

 

**ABBY  
**

****[4:20 P.M.]**  
**

this silence is concerning

 

**ABBY  
**

****[4:35 P.M.]**  
**

okay i'm at the store

speak now or forever hold your peace

 

**BELLAMY  
**

**[4:37 P.M.]**

TEAM BLAKE IS VICTORIOUS

colored lights!

i win!

undefeated connect four champion of the world

oh btw abby can you pick up fireworks

 

**OCTAVIA  
**

**[4:38 P.M.]**

no we're good

dad found them

 

**CLARKE  
**

****[4:39 P.M.]** **

sorry mom

he beat me 3 out of 5

no white lights this year

 

**ABBY  
**

****[4:40 P.M.]**  
**

honey, that appears to be the least of our problems

i think i've married a pyromaniac

if marcus burns down the house on christmas eve

remember that i have always loved you

 

**CLARKE  
**

****[4:40 P.M.]**  
**

oh jesus

i'm just catching up on this thread

you people are all insane

 

**OCTAVIA  
**

****[4:42 P.M.]**  
**

wait are you still at the store

i just remembered we're out of mustard

can you grab some

 

**ABBY  
**

****[4:43 P.M.]**  
**

you are the only sane human in your family and i love you

i will buy you all the mustard you want

 

**MARCUS  
**

****[4:43 P.M.]**  
**

I'm out of mustard

 

**ABBY  
**

****[4:44 P.M.]**  
**

yes

that's what your daughter just said

 

**BELLAMY  
**

****[4:44 P.M.]**  
**

oh no

here it comes

 

**MARCUS  
**

****[4:45 P.M.]**  
**

you're out of mustard

 

**CLARKE  
**

****[4:45 P.M.]**  
**

what is happening

 

**BELLAMY  
**

****[4:46 P.M.]**  
**

wait for it

wait for it

 

**MARCUS  
**

****[4:46 P.M.]**  
**

THIS WHOLE COURTROOM’S OUT OF MUSTARD

 

**OCTAVIA  
**

****[4:46 P.M.]**  
**

there it is

 

**ABBY  
**

****[4:46 P.M.]**  
**

oh god who did I marry

 

**OCTAVIA  
**

****[4:47 P.M.]**  
**

you'll get used to it

 

**ABBY  
**

****[4:47 P.M.]**  
**

will i really though?

 

**OCTAVIA  
**

****[4:48 P.M.]**  
**

well

probably not

 

**CLARKE  
**

****[4:48 P.M.]** **

OOH LOOK IT'S YOUR SELF-PORTRAIT

goddammit that was supposed to send like an hour ago

i hate this phone

 

**BELLAMY  
**

****[4:49 P.M.]** **

WOW CLARKE

LET IT GO

WE'VE ALL MOVED ON

 

**CLARKE  
**

****[4:50 P.M.]** **

mom

do you ever wonder

like

WHERE DID WE FIND THESE PEOPLE

 

**ABBY**

****[4:50 P.M.]** **

literally daily

 

**MARCUS**

****[5:12 P.M.]** **

honey are you still at the store

see if they have fire extinguishers

**Author's Note:**

> Read original fic here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/4628658
> 
> Listen to Christmas playlist here: http://8tracks.com/grrlinthefireplace/starving-artist-christmas


End file.
